A cupla kwoats

If god is inside us than I hope he likes fajitas, coz that's what he's getting.

Every 12 seconds somewhere on this earth there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

A hotdog feeds the hand that bites it.

I locked my coathanger in the car. Lucky I had my key.

The trouble with work is, it's so daily.

They cant fire me. Slaves have to be sold.

My Karma ran over your Dogma.

I spilled spot remover on my dog. He's gone now.

There are two times I feel stress. Day and night.

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

Give blood. Play hockey.

FOR SALE. Parachute. Only used once. Never opened. Small stain.

100% of studies show that if you dont eat, you'll get hungry.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

In the force, if Yoda is so strong, construct a sentence with words in the proper order why can't he?

Energiser Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

The Three Rings of Marriage... The engagement ring. The wedding ring, and The suffering.

I had a lovely evening. Unfortunately this wasn't it.